Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Its been a long time

I really need to try to post on here more often, even if it is just a sentence or two.

Today is a really hard pain day for me with my hands so I can't type but just a tad but hey that is pretty much every day now... my hands have hurt every single day for almost two years (not one day without!) and yet, it seems to be getting worse and worse.. even holding a telephone to my ear causes my hands to go beserk with the tingling/numbness/burning and pain.

Wish I had help it is hard doing things on my own and even harder to have to admit them. I feel pitiful and pathetic more days than not lately.

I allow people to harm me still when I try to do things and fail. I need to learn to tell them to back off but sometimes just the shock of being demeaned in front of others throws me off balance enough to not have any time to react so I just sit back and take it.

I wish... I wish.... there was a device or something that could allow people to touch me and feel .. really truly FEEL what I go through every single day.. every day.

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